A Letter from Mike Vogt

Have really enjoyed the newsletter this year and can't pass up a chance to put in my two cents worth on all of this year's several controversies. I didn't realize I felt so passionately about these issues, since none of them seem critical to the immediate future of the free world; however, the old saw--for lack of a nail, a shoe was lost; for lack of the shoe, a horse was lost; for lack of the horse, a rider was lost; and thus the battle was lost--may apply, and these issues may in fact need to be definitively answered in order to avoid imminent disaster or even Armageddon in the pipe-collecting community. This would obviously leave us with nothing worth living for, and our lives would thus become empty and meaningless. Our families, friends, job, and communities would then be negatively impacted to the point that our nation and the civilized world as we know it might start down a slippery slope to societal regression and barbarism. And so our newsletter and organization are and become the great last hope to answer these vital issues and avoid potential annihilation.      The single most critical question you have raised is whether to continue using the widely accepted salt and alcohol method of cleaning and rejuvenating the interior bowls of pipes. Many dire warnings have been issued about the risks of cracked shanks resulting from this process. But, I ask you, if we are to give up on this rejuvenating process, what are we to be left with? (Other than pipes smelling so foul as to not be brought inside of civilized abodes.) What I have inferred from the articles is not that there is a problem with the practice itself but with the method and length of duration of the process. I have cleaned and rejuvenated several hundred pipes with this method, including some favorite pipes many times over. I have never experienced a cracked shank because of this. The only process that has for me resulted in cracked shanks was trying to sit 220 pounds of lard-butt in the bucket seat of an MG sports car with the pipe in the back pocket of a trench coat. Unfortunately, I have repeated this process several times with the same sad results. I do recommend against this particular process and feel that it would have similar results for nearly all makes of cars, pipes, posterior sizes and types of winter outer wear. I believe that my success with the salt and alcohol process is to first of all put in and leave in a pipe cleaner in stem and shank during the process to reduce the amount of salt solution in the shank. Secondly and most important is to only allow the salt/alcohol solution to sit in the bowl for 5 to 8 hours maximum. I couldn't believe people were letting it sit 3 to 5 days. That had to be the crux of their problems. Thirdly, after reaming the softened cake from the bowl, it is important to repeatedly rinse bowl and shank with water while running a small bristle pipe brush through the shank to thoroughly clean the shank of both tars and the salt brine. I then run several pipe cleaners with scotch whiskey through stem and shank till totally clean and clear. Obviously, the problems people have written about are due to the long period of time they have allowed the salt brine solution to soak into the shank. None of them mentioned leaving a pipe cleaner in stem and shank to reduce the amount of brine in the shank. None of them mentioned how thoroughly they were brushing and washing the interior of the shank after the process. It's good that your articles have put out a needed warning, but I hope that the readers don't overreact. A little common sense and caution will make this process work with little risk and much reward.      While we're on cleaning processes, I have to mention MASS polish to use on stems.  MAAS is a German polish that comes in a tube and can be purchased at HWI hardware stores.  Butcher's Bowling Alley Wax is great for polishing bowls and can be purchased at Ace hardware stores. If you don't have a buffing wheel, these two products will get you close to what you'd like to see. On stems, I usually start with OFF cleaner and a toothbrush, then soak in Clorox bleach for no more than one hour, followed by toothpaste and toothbrush, and finally finish with MAAS polish. A warning is to not use chlorine bleach more than one hour or the vulcanite will begin to soften or pit the surface. Pipe bowls I wash with Murphy's Oil Soap (from any hardware store) and then smooth any nicks, dents or scrapes with a hot iron held on an ice water rag against the pipe. Then rub on olive oil, dry and wax with Butcher's Bowling Alley Wax. Works great, but nothing beats a buffing wheel if you're lucky enough to have one. If you want to get one, make sure it's low speed (i.e., 1750 rpm). Low-speed motors are expensive, but I found mine at a flea market after a year's search. I agree with Rich Esserman that a buffing wheel is the single greatest threat to a high-grade collectable pipe, but how many pipes actually fall into that category? As long as you're careful to avoid nomenclature, I think a buffing wheel can bring out that "jewel" look like nothing else can.      The next major dilemma you've made us face this year is whether we should "cellar" our new pipes because they might continue to cure or dry out for further enhanced smoking later or whether a pipe made 10 or more years ago and unsmoked would be better cured and a better smoke than the same or similar new pipe made today. You've done an admirable job of bringing us the long experience, knowledge and wisdom of many of the greatest pipe artisans of today, and they have further enhanced all of this with much indisputable scientific fact, leading to the conclusion that quality briar can only be cured or dried to a certain point and that most high-grade quality briar pipes made today are already at this premium point when they are finished.   Therefore, we should buy our new pipes and smoke them and not cellar them. But of course they are absolutely and incontrovertibly all wrong! The primary root cause of these erroneous conclusions is that they rely solely on science and ignore the real underlying qualities that make an older unsmoked pipe that has continued to cure for 20 or 40 or more years before being smoked smoke better than a new high-grade pipe. These key qualities are mystique and magic. There is an innate or intrinsic mystique to a 25- to 50-year-old or more pipe that was made by old-world craftsmen during the hey-day of pipedom, from some of the best old bruyere (which I strongly believe was generally older and of better quality than generally available today) and cured in "secret" processes in the great old pipe-making factories bearing names we revere as great traditions of quality. Yet this same old quality briar remained a virgin, yet to be savored! Add to this the incredible magic of actually finding and acquiring such a quality gem that has somehow avoided the flame for generations, compounded by the unique, unbelievable experience of purchasing it for $40 to $60 (a paltry sum compared to hundreds for high-grade new specimens).  You may have an almost orgasmic experience as you light it up for the first glorious maiden smoke, knowing that this pipe may be older than you and the briar root may pre-date your great grandfather. Now how can anyone possibly tell us that these additional years of "curing" do not increase the smoking quality of briar pipes? I have about 30 unsmoked older briars that I have cellared. I'll continue to add to them and meanwhile wait for them to "peak" in quality of smokeability.      Despite all this mystique and magic, I do, however, have to agree that the new pipes today by quality artisans are great smokes and that the best thing you can do to make a pipe smoke better is to just smoke it. I truly enjoyed Ivy's Charatan article, since she was privileged to become so intimatelyacquainted over a period of time with obviously some of the greatest pipe artisans during one of the greatest periods for Charatan. Plus the fact that I have always considered Charatan the premier world-class pipe, so hearing what their carvers thought and felt about the different types of pipes and pipe making was fascinating. But once again, I began to get my dander up when I heard my beloved Petersons and cherished sandblast billiards and Canadians relegated to some low-tier class rank just above the kindling wood box just because they didn't have the perfection of grain and natural finish of a Charatan Supreme. I agree with Rich Esserman's statement that making a shape just to follow the grain can result in a shape that makes the pipe a second because of shape no matter how great the grain. I would prefer a classic traditional shape and let an accident of nature such as a Comoy Blue Riband, Sasieni 8-dot, or Stanwell Silver S give me the grain. Also, a pipe has to have very tight grain and very hard wood to make a good sandblast finish. Otherwise, it will blast very unevenly and lopsided or be destroyed by the process.  Sandblasting can truly enhance the grain and emphasize highlights like ring grain or bird's-eye.      Now that we've addressed the critical issues that faced us last year, I strongly feel that we must concentrate on two issues that may have even more dire consequences to us if not properly answered during the next year. Rex Poggenpohl pigeonholed me with this question: All other things being equal, which pipe will smoke cooler--a straight grain or a cross-cut bird's-eye? This is confounded scientifically by the fact that tobacco would have a unique minimum combustion temperature in order to burn no matter what pipe it's in, so how could any pipe smoke cooler than another?      The second important question regarding coolness of smoking quality is, does the shape of the shank (i.e., round, oval, diamond, etc.) affect the smoking coolness? One article in one of the pipe magazines or newsletters (maybe ours?) made the statement that the same size and shape of pipe would smoke cooler with a round shank rather than an oval shank and that oval shanks always smoke hotter. We need an answer to this before we buy any more oval-shanked pipes!  (Even though I don't plan to stop grabbing up every Canadian I can find.)--Mike Vogt, Waterloo, IL [Great letter, Mike. Mike, who is one of the movers and shakers in the St. Louis pipe club and show, raises a couple of interesting questions here. Responses--the more opinionated the better--are most welcome.]